Showing posts with label Guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guilt. Show all posts

Friday, 8 February 2019

How to kill the hidden termites of your personality?

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Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. It is perfectly human to have them after all, you cant be happy and cheerful all the time. Moreover, without negative emotions, we wouldnt be able to recognize and appreciate the positive ones. How would you know that you are happy when you have never been sad and despaired? What would calmness feel like if youve never experienced anxiety and anger? At the same time, when you have a tendency towards a particular emotional state, there could be some deeper reasons than you might realize.
Negative emotions can be described as any feeling which causes you to be miserable and sad. These emotions make you dislike yourself and others and take away your confidence. Emotions that can become negative are hate, anger, jealousy, and sadness. Yet, in the right context, these feelings are completely natural. Negative emotions can dampen our enthusiasm for life, depending on how long we let them affect us and the way we choose to express them.
Types of negative emotions and how to overcome it are listed below:


This is an emotion which hardly has any positive effect on life. In fact, it saps away the time that we lose because of this negative emotion. Except for the fact that we have a possibility to contemplate and experience nostalgia, there is no other gain from the emotion of sadness. It reduces energy. It reduces your desire to follow goals. You start feeling that there is no sign of life. If the sadness continues you lose your interest in life.
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How to overcome?
The best way is to start doing something interesting. For example, if you are fond of painting, start a new picture. If you are fond of singing, start practicing a new song. If you are a health freak, it is time that you start doing some exercise. In short, dont sit and spend away your valuable time in remaining sad.


Next on the list is Anxiety. Some people may say that anxiety helps you to analyze the situation. It prepares you to meet the challenge ahead. It forces you to do all the preparation that you need to face the new situation or a challenge. This is an example of a self-satisfying assumption. Anxiety will have a negative effect on your brain. Anxiety affects your ability to decide. And it should not be mistaken for a need to prepare for meeting any situation. That does not require anxiety. It requires only your decisive thinking and discipline. Anxiety will only cause stress which will affect your productivity. Whenever you are anxious for a particular challenge which has cropped up in your life the best way is to sit down and write what are the possibilities. You have always to make a choice. If you dont decide even that will add to your anxiety.
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How to overcome?
The thing that makes fears and phobias so persistent is that virtually anything you do to oppose, escape, or distract from the anxious feelings and thoughts will be turned against you, and make the anxiety a more persistent part of your life. This is why people notice “the harder I try, the worse it gets”. They’re putting out fires with gasoline. If you come to see that you’ve been putting out fires with gasoline, you may not have any idea what to do next. But the first step is always the same:put down the buckets. Stop throwing gasoline on that fire. This is where the cognitive-behavioral methods of desensitization and exposure come in. They’re intended as methods by which you can practice with (not against) the symptoms, and become less sensitive to them. As you lose your fear of the symptoms, through this practice, that’s when the symptoms will fade.
The third type of negative emotion is Anger. Anger is the negative emotion which can be used to your advantage. But it will happen only if you are keen to use it. Keen to use Anger to motivate you to do something which you have been postponing. Anger also needs to be in control. When in control you can be sure that it will give you greater energy to face the situation which is difficult and which requires all concentrated effort. However, if you think that Anger by itself will help you if you think that it will solve your problem by itself, you are sadly mistaken. Unbridled anger can cause havoc. It will increase your stress and generate further negative emotions like vengeance or enmity and the like. So, you should be cautious that anger should not be allowed to rule over you. You should only think of using the situation or using this powerful emotion for furthering your course. It definitely enhances your motivation. It definitely increases your willpower to resolve the problem. But as I said earlier you must be in control of your anger. You should not allow anger to have control over you.
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How to overcome?
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though it can hurt feelings and make things worse.


The fourth type of negative emotion is guilt. It is generated by your inner self. It happens when you feel that you have done something which you ought not to have done. It is indicative of a lack of discipline on your part. It is indicative that you are tempted by small things. It is indicative that you have lesser control over yourself. It is indicative of the weakness of ones character. How can we use this emotion to our advantage? We should remain self-aware and we should think before doing anything. Over the period you have realized that certain things which you did in the past, left the curse the feeling of guilt. It means that if you are shirking away from your responsibilities, you will have the feeling of guilt. So if you question yourself that you must avoid the negative feeling of guilt which will cause a negative effect on my health, on your thinking, on your brain, you may help yourself to avoid such inaction or even action which you feel will cost you dearly.
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How to overcome?
Your first step is to explore your feelings of guilt and the corresponding events that took place.
Its important to gain immediate clarification about your feelings of guilt and the meaning and significance this has in your life. This is critical because at times your guilt might not be as clear as you might think. You might, in fact, need to do a little digging in order to decipher the primary reasons for your guilt. Ask yourself:
What am I feeling guilty about?
Why am I feeling guilty?
What is the underlying reason for my guilt?
What do I gain by feeling guilty?
Does this make any sense?
How does this guilt hold me back?
How does this guilt affect those around me?
Is it reasonable to feel guilty about this?

Shame or Embarrassment:

Last but not least we should talk about shame or embarrassment. This negative feeling or emotions demolish our self-confidence. It can reduce our self-esteem. This may not be entirely due to your character blemishes. It may be due to the environment. Oftentimes there are some incidents where your peers or colleagues or others deliberately try to embarrass you. So what should you do? Whenever you are likely to face such a situation you have to prepare yourself. Maybe you remind one previous occasion when some people misbehaved with you. At that time recall what was your conduct. What was your reaction? How did you deal with the situation? Recall, if you had not handled it properly and that became the cause of embarrassment. You can plan out a different response. In any case, if you want to avoid embarrassment which is affecting your personality, you have to do some kind of preparation. In life, if you want to be successful, you have to always prepare for challenging situations. Never be shy of preparation. Never think that you can handle anything and everything because of your ego. Ego has absolutely no place in life except when you mean self-confidence when youre talking about ego
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How to overcome?

Theres a reason why we say were dying of embarrassment because while were in the midst of an embarrassing episode, dying really does seems like the better option. No human being I know is immune from these moments; however, I seem to have a knack at collecting a large variety. After a recent incident that made me want to hide in a corner of the world without Wi-Fi, my writing and spiritual mentor gave me great advice. Its okay to be embarrassed, he said. Its cleansing. This one has already passed, and passed nicely, like a kidney stone after the first day. You may relax.

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