Enemies of Happiness – Greed

Yet another enemy of happiness may have entered in the mind of some of us. This is greed. It keeps on growing unabated when not controlled. The end result invariably is a disaster. It can be greed for money, it can be greed for power or fame, respect, sex or even attention. Greed for food is also not uncommon. Greed has a tendency to grow faster when you achieve more. Unfortunately greedy people lose the perspective. If the human wanted more for happiness, it may be considered normal. But greed invariably makes you unhappy. In this case the desire is never controlled.

 

In fact one can be rich without being greedy. Making more money should not be the objective. Enjoying what you have and of course aspiring for more can be a legitimate goal of successful people in a competitive world. But greed does not allow you to enjoy what you have. It only reinforces your anguish on what you don’t have.

 

The great English Victorian explorer – Sir Richard Frances Britten once said: ‘conquer thyself till thou have has done this, thou art but a slave; for it is almost as well to be subjective to another’s appetite as to thine own. ‘

 

Shakespeare the great dramatist discussed these characteristics of human mind in great detail when he created the character of his play Macbeth by the same name. Hunger for more power keeps on increasing until Macbeth is pushed to the wall of disaster.

 

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Enemies of Happiness- Hesitation

The main cause of hesitation is uncertainty. Often we are not sure of the result of our decision or action. Fear of making a mistake is the root cause of hesitation. How can we overcome this fear of making a mistake?

 

Ask yourself “have I met anybody how does not make mistakes”. Is there any leader in the world ever who never made any mistakes? Everybody does. If that be so then why one should be afraid of making a mistake. It gives you enough reason not to hesitate. But, reason is not the only thing when we talk of hesitation and or fear of making a mistake. The associated problems like how others will feel or perceive about decision/action bothers our mind.

What happens if you don’t take a decision? What happens if you don’t take action where it is required? Consequences of inaction or indecision are far more severe than the fear of making a mistake.

 

The best thing is to think and act. When it something serious you can note down crystallize your thoughts and then act. But act you must. And that to must happen well in time. Delayed action often leads to further problems. Where ever you hesitate you must fix a time limit which could be from a few seconds or minutes or hours as the situation remains. Stick to the time limit. Don’t worry about the consequences of actions that you have taken after due consideration.

 

You must imbibe in yourself a desire for doing new things. Habit of doing new things also builds your self confidence. Self confidence in turn makes you a decisive person who does not hesitate. Hesitation is a serious development need which you must address.

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Enemies of Happiness – Attachment.

You like something, you are attached. You believe a creed you become attached etc. Likewise you become attached to your possessions, your house, your car, and things like that. However attachment does not lead you anywhere. It’s necessary that you identify the reason for attachment and then decide to pull yourself out.

 

Change is the law of nature. Everything that belongs to this earth must change. And you should accept these changes as a part of life. Therefore, wherever you get attached to, you are likely to be unhappy due to possible loss of the attached thing, person or place. Stop fearing the loss. Some risk is always there in life; no one can avoid all risks. I would go one step further to say that taking some risk is necessary for your growth.

 

In the circumstance it is best not to be attached to anything. You should be prepared for change as they say change is the only thing which is constant. Except that, everything else changes. And just because we have decided to be happy; we propose to defeat all the enemies of happiness, we must upgrade ourselves. We must not harbor attachment in our mind.

Start loving yourself. Have lot of respect for your person, for your capability and for your skills. This will lead to greater self esteem. This will also motivate to hone your strengths.

Learn to let go of an attachment to feelings. There is no doubt that emotions are powerful. It is difficult to control emotions. But constant efforts to empower your personality will definitely enable you to control the negative feelings.

 

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Enemies of Happiness- Procrastination

Procrastination is the bane of life. It is a major problem. The procrastinator losses perspective. He/she tends to do unimportant tasks because either they are easy or to his/her liking. In any case this is a bad habit which must be eradicated all together.

 

Normally one tends to postpone difficult and time consuming projects. In case the project is likely to take a long time you need to decide that you must make a beginning. Long ago I had listen to a training tape where the trainer said that in such cases use ‘Salami Technique.’ Further he described when you look at the Salami it is very unappetizing to look at. But if you cut it into smaller slices it becomes quite palatable. Similarly if we break a daunting task in small pieces we can handle the small parts of the problem and solve it using this piecemeal approach. The best suggestion is that you focus on starting the project rather than thinking about how it is going to be finished.

 

Another suggestion is that you decide that you will devote only 10 minutes on the tasks which you have been postponing. Spend these 10 minutes. You may note down the steps that you are likely to follow. At the end of 10 minutes you should write it down when you’re going to spend next 10 minutes on the same job. Deciding and spending just 10 minutes will not create any kind of pressure in your mind. And that is the best way to handle the job which you have been postponing. After completing every bit of it you can pat your back with any such thing that you love to do. May be listening to your favorite music, watching a TV show, or any such thing. This will reinforce your good habit of taking on the difficult, challenging projects and delivering results with confidence.

 

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Enemies of Happiness- Indecision

1. Spend a few days noticing when the malady i.e. indecision bothers you? What types of things  trouble you? Are they small things or big things? How much time do you devote to make simple decisions?

2. one thing to focus on, something that you’re constantly struggle with (it could be what time to get up the morning, what to eat that day, what outfit to wear). Make sure it’s a small thing to start with. Bigger problems can be dealt when you are more experienced.

 

3. When you go to a restaurant do you take too much time to decide what to order?

4. When your boss asks you to work on a holiday, how much time you take to respond? Do you say instantaneously and then repent about it?

 

5. While driving in heavy traffic, do you feel that you that you have taken a wrong lane which moves very slowly?

6. Next time you find yourself struggling to choose on your chosen subject, remind yourself mentally “I am a decisive person and I will not waste my time and energy with this.”

7. For important tasks, you may even write down pros and cons. Then it’s easier to decide. But never feel bad about wrong decisions. Some decisions go wrong for everyone. The more you start taking decisions, you will find that incidence of wrong decisions will reduce.

 

8. Now – simply pick one option. Make a decision quickly and commit to it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision or not – just do it.

9. Let it go. Refrain from laboring about whether you made the right choice or not and move on. Do something immediately that really does matter to you – and if possible something that will make a positive difference to your life or to the lives of others.

Thanks for reading.