Ragging in Schools & Colleges

In spite of the law against ragging in schools and college, the problem seems to have gone unabated. Some Institutions have taken many initiatives at their level but the results are far from satisfactory. Schools in U.S.A. also suffer this problem. But the reasons there are often different. Children of different races study together. Oftentimes problems take place due to racism. Unfortunately in India too, the bullies have become rampant which results in extremely unwarranted results. Bullied students lose their confidence. Self esteem suffers to such an extent that it lasts years after such incidents have taken place.

Due to the current education system which is a continuation of the education policy by the British who wanted to breed meek white collar workers and clerks the children are not assertive. Many brilliant students who are excellent in their study find it difficult to express themselves. How to be assertive? They don’t even know.

In such a situation, the only remedy lies in encouraging professionals & academies wich have specialised in the area of personality development and other related soft skills. We have a special skills development ministry. Hard skills areas are duly covered in their various programmes. But soft skills do not feature as essentials. Needless to say that it is essential that people must have an appreciable ability to express themselves.

Hope necessary steps will be taken in this direction by the concerned authorities.

Language and speech should be a part of curriculum of all professional colleges. Good communication is an essential pillar of a developed nation. And so, it need to be recognized.

Thanks for reading.

Dictionary meaning of POISE enlightens us!

 
 

What is Poise?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, poise is defined as calm, confidence, in a person’s way of behaving or a quality of grace moving in a confident attractive fashion; balance in the way a person moulds or
their body. Examples: he would be embarrassed for a moment but would quickly regain poise. Her confidence and poise show that she is a top model.

Further example: 

A lady with a lot of poise says - I am enough, I am full of sparkle and compassion, I genuinely want to make world a place I love. I practice kindness; I am not afraid of truth, I am loyal, adventurous, supportive and surprising. I am a woman, I am enough, I make mistakes but I own them and I learn from them, sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.

Only if you have poise, you can be confident, you can be graceful & elegant; you can be anywhere and make your presence felt. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it as explained by the famous philosopher, Aristotle.

Oscar Wilde once said "Now-a day’s people know the price of everything and the value of nothing".

A poised man knows the value. He may also know the price but considers value more important than price. It can also be attributed that grace and elegance will never go out of fashion as poise and elegance are always loved and appreciated. It can also be said that key to winning is poise to be maintained under stress, among other qualities. Such is the importance of poise. Poise can also be felt inside one’s feelings, character and thoughts. It’s  just being oneself, being at ease and never fighting oneself, never underestimating one’s abilities. It is pretty impressive to see students standing in front of their peers. It takes poise, talent and courage because poise remains with us. Audrey Hepburn, a British actress of yester years said “poise is the knowledge that you are never alone, for beautiful eyes, look for good in others, for beautiful lips look for words of kindness and poise. Opt for the knowledge that you are never in dire difficulty”. 

It also means to beat defeat with dignity, to receive criticism with homour and humility. These are also the marks of maturity and elegance. All in all, it is poise. It can also be stated that one should never hesitate, never try to hide oneself and be afraid of facing consequences or have shame, standing up on the values one believes in. Never to regret the past; it’s a waste of time as there is a reason for everything. Every terrible thing that one must have gone through in their lives also leave some messages. Every mistake that has happened would have a deep meaning associated with it. The only way one can earn respect is if one respects themselves and to do what he/she considers is the right thing; not to apologies for being oneself. Accepting your mistakes committed requires a lot of poise.

In a stress full situation, one can be concerned or little worried as well but maintaining poise you can overcome all negative feelings. Poise can also be mean as one’s ability to balance the extremes of life. Sometimes we find life difficult like a turbulent sea. But poise helps to maintain equanimity and dignity.

It is said that “never go through life, but grow though life". In other words always be original, be yourself. Don’t try to duplicate someone in the process however successful the person may be, never try to copy or imitate others.

Further, life is like riding a bicycle. To keep one’s balance he/she must keep moving and never be stuck. Never think of past; never worry about future, but learn to live in the present. Our present alone and shape our future.

How to achieve poise?

Focus in your work gives you poise; patience gives you poise. But achieving success without work can only be found in the dictionary. Likewise maintainning poise without efforts is  not conceivable at all .The necessity to do one’s work or perform duty has been emphasized in our  great book of knowledge - The Bhagwat Gita. It says man maintains his balance, poise and sense of security only if he is moving forward. If he is stuck, he is dismayed and not able to perform his duty. He loses poise as well.

Sir Winston Churchill who had set an example and was an institute in his own right wittily said. “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity but an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty but keeping balance in both the situations".

We must remember that poise and power are inseparably associated. It can be stated that the calm and balanced mind is strong and great mind but the hurried and agitated mind is a weakling. So never be in a hurry and never try to do anything ‘yesterday’. Be patient as the things do take their own time.

Never be upset with the circumstances if it is not in your favour and despite genuine hard work. One is not able to perform, as per expectation always. But patience is the key. And so is poise the ultimate key to elegance and success.

Thanks for reading.

Golden Rules to Build Your Confidence

Lack of Confidence

First of fall we need to understand the reason for lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is due to a fear of one kind or another (mostly unfounded). As an American wrote, “my life was full of misfortunes which never happened”.

 

Of course, one need not be reckless. Yet, harboring fear never helps. We need to think rationally and pen down what makes us afraid and why. This process helps remove some of the fear and begins the path of building confidence.

 

A famous Management Guru one said that there are four ‘C’s which form the foundation of an individual’s growth and a Company’s progress. These four virtues are – Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Consistency. The most important of these happen to be Confidence. If absence of confidence the other virtues will simply disappear.

It is said that “they conquer who believe they can”. Self-belief is thus the second important factor in building up confidence. Confidence emerging out of self-belief is necessary for any significant achievement. New opportunities always carry some incidence of chance. For taking any initiative you must be prepared to take calculated risk. In fact not taking any risk is the biggest risk of life.

 

Further, Confidence enables you to trust yourself. And if you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. No one will feel secure in placing any responsibility on you. That will be the dead end. There is no further growth.

Lost Opportunities


Often we do not see opportunities because we are not interested. On the face of it, lack of desire acts as a strong handicap in our progress and growth. But, Confidence trains our mind to desire what the situation demands. It makes us alert enough to recognize and seize emerging opportunities. With desire created by confidence we look ahead, strive hard and succeed.

Confidence breeds courage 

For taking risk of any kind one needs to have courage. If we have confidence; we will be able to rise up to the demands of the situation. So we must go ahead and take calculated risk. Courage enables us to move ahead! Yet, if there is no confidence it will be very difficult to harness courage.

 

Smile


Most people lack self-confidence. You can help them! Smile. Your smile will reassure them. You will be doing a great job helping them to gain confidence. This is particularly true when somebody is meeting a new group of people. We must also remember that the more we are helping others to gain confidence, the more we enhance our own self-confidence! We help ourselves too!!!

Thanks for reading.

Wani Yoga & Third Eye Chakra

In my last posting, I had named the 7 Chakras which are important in Yoga Philosophy. The 5^th Chakra or the Throat Chakra concerns about communications which we had discussed. Wani Yoga is also closely connected with the 6^th or Third Eye Chakra.

The Third Eye Chakra is associated with the sight as seen both physically and mentally. When I say seeing mentally, I mean what kind of message is given to your mind by what you see. So it is related to your vision. Your perspective and conduct in day to day life normally is controlled by your vision. The Third Eye Chakra is located between the two, and slightly above, the eyes.

 

The primary issues involved with Wani Yoga are the control that your vision exercises on what you say and how you say it. Evidently, the content is extremely important. If there is any imbalance in third eye chakra the content is likely to be lopsided. The properly balanced third eye chakra will enable you to speak effectively using your wisdom, the connection to the higher self, your imagination and what you want to achieve during the communication.

 The imbalance in the third eye chakra will affect your thinking. You will be confused. You will be indecisive and feel intellectually stagnated. You will hardly have any intuition and your confidence will be on the decline. On the other hand when the third eye chakra is properly balanced you will develop the following abilities:

1. Ability to concentrate and think clearly on an issue at hand.

 

2. You will able to detach yourself and not be emotionally involved so as to impair your judgment. When you witness a situation without involvement, you are able to exercise detachment which is so necessary to lead a happy life.

3. You will be able to trust yourself more than ever. The experience that you have in your life will provide you an inner wisdom which is extremely helpful in all that you do.

4. More than that you will develop a gut feeling. This will help you take to take fast decisions by identifying your priorities. Needless to say that any action has the possibility of going wrong however remote it may be. In fact when we analyze minutely before taking a decision this can happen even more frequently.

 

So the correction or balancing of the third eye chakra is extremely important. Simple exercises in Wani Yoga enable you to achieve the chakra balance and thus develop the above abilities. These are extremely valuable and help in all your projects.

Thanks for reading.

Leadership Qualities

In my last presentation, I had defined Leadership. I had also explained what it takes to be a good leader. How must a leader go about performing his/her duty that would justify leadership.  Today, I shall talk to you about the characteristic elements of personality which are necessary for a good leader:

1. The first on the list is Honesty. Honesty towards oneself. This means that the Leader must be himself or herself all the time. At no time the Leader should try to copy anyone or say something which he/she does not believe. The leader must believe in an honest, ethical behavior as a key value. All the actions will foster among the team members the same value. Once accepted the value can be a strong bond among members of the team, a group, or an organization.   

 

2. The second quality which a leader must have is the ability to delegate. This requires the leader’s trust in the members of the team. Besides, the leader should have the ability to identify the strengths and weaknesses of the members. This will help in assigning appropriate tasks to individual members. Such a delegation will be meaningful and the results will be more productive.  

 

3. Excellent communication represents the third important quality of a good leader. The leader should be in a position to communicate in a language which is understood by all – be it an uneducated skilled worker on the floor or the CEO who is a member of the board.Further the leader must ensure that whatever has been communicated is not only understood, but assimilated by all concerned. This will be possible only if the leader has an open mind and encourages rather than discourages feedback. 

 

4. The fourth important aspect of good leadership is sense of humor. In the competitive world of today everyone has to stretch to produce results – this means constant stress. As good morale is the key to productivity; the stress can be negated only by good humor. 

 

5. Another important quality is the confidence of the leader. An effective leader must be a person who stays calm, keeps working and forges ahead even in times of adversity. It is the confidence of a leader the leader that is rubs on the team, making them motivated and energetic performers.

 

6. A strong sense of commitment is the next aspect of positive leadership. Committed leaders often have a hands on approach and are able to do it themselves especially in times of a crisis. This approach ensures the commitment of the team, which feels secure under such decisive leadership. 

 

7. A positive attitude is also a very important aspect of leadership. Positive Attitude of the Leader ensures high energy levels of the team members. It also ensures that the Leader looks at every challenge as an opportunity rather than a roadblock. 

 

8. The eighth important aspect of a good leader is his creativity. In times of crisis, it is the leader’s creativity that enables him to think out of the box and to come out with an appropriate solution.   

 

9. The leader’s quality of Institution refers to his gut feeling about the course of action he is to take. The quality of Intuition enables a leader to take calculated risks in decision making when facing an unforeseen situation.  

 

10. The Ability to Inspire is the last and certainly not the least important quality. This enables a leader to positively motivate team members and enables him to leverage the strengths of the team members.  

 

Thanks for reading.

Self-confidence

Your confidence depends on how you have been influenced by people around you till now. Be it your parents, your teachers, your friends and others you have been meeting. Some of the influences have created positive impact. ‘Yes, you can do it and you must try’. This motivates you to act even if there is some risk. ‘No, you can’t do it’, ‘it is not for you’ ‘what will others say when you fail’- these are some of the negative thoughts, instilled by people around you, or due to your own brooding. These hold you back.

Faith, Fear and Action are three most important ingredients of your self confidence. Today, everyone realizes the importance of self-confidence. Your career, your relations with others, your progress in life or even your reputation- all depend on your self- confidence. Your ability to overcome fears and your determination to take action even in adverse circumstances give it a boost. Anyone who wants to grow in life must develop ability to take some risk. Of course, you must not be a dare-devil. No need to deliberately expose yourself to great risk just to show off. Nor is there a need to take risk without thinking about the results. But some calculated risk of taking action to move forward in life is necessary.

Life is not a straight line. Like the waves in the sea, it moves up and down. There is low tide and there is high tide. There could be storms like we have in the ocean. You have to accept the challenge and move forward. Your determined action further enhances your faith and allays your fears. Consider that your body is a ship. And your mind is the captain of your ship. Just as the captain of the ship has to take decisions and take action all the time- 24x7, you must do that too. This will generate the required self-confidence. And, you will start viewing the life differently. It will no longer be a burden that tires you. It will be an interesting journey that will keep you in good cheer.
Some other suggestions to build your confidence and conquer your fears are:

1. Belief in yourself
2. Associate with confidence people
3. Keep motivating yourself by dwelling on positive thoughts
4. Be the master of your ship of life.
5. Never remain idle.

Thank you.

Confidence

As a child, I always felt that I lacked confidence. Even now, in some situations I find that I do not measure up to my expectations. Yet, I have always admired ‘confident people’ and I continue to do.


Considering that Confidence is a very importance part of our lives, I often contemplate about it. 


This happened at the Delhi Airport. I had checked-in well in advance, as per my habit. I was waiting to board the flight to Mumbai. As usual I was looking around to find ‘confident people’. There were many men and women – well dressed, upright and looking satisfied with their lives. But there was one gentleman who appeared exceptional. He was immaculately dressed in a dark grey suit. His broad shoulders and with his ‘chin-up’ added to his confident look. As I was brooding the flight was announced and we all boarded the plane.


It was a comfortable smooth flight. All the usual things - the in flight safety demonstrations, service of snacks, tea and coffee went off very well. Soon it was the time to reach Mumbai. The air-hostess announced that the plane would land at Mumbai airport in a few minutes. Then something happened. Instead of descending the plane went up and started going round in circles. After about ten minutes everyone got restless. People were looking around and trying to understand what was happening. I closed my eyes and started praying. Still, the plane continued to hover in mid-air. 


Suddenly, I thought of this very confident tall man I saw at the Delhi airport. Looking around I found that he was perhaps the most restless soul on the flight at that moment. He was holding his handkerchief in one hand furiously wiping the perspiration, sometimes from the forehead and sometimes from his cheeks. With closed eyes he was looking up and down. At times he would put his hand in the pocket, as if he were trying to search for something. I could see all this because he occupied an aisle seat on the opposite side just two rows behind. In my futile endeavor of observing him, I had somehow forgotten my fears.


And then the Pilot came out of his cabin, walked to the middle of gangway, and stopped there. He did something and then went back. Shortly thereafter another landing announcement was made. The plane landed safely and all of us got down.


I realized that the ‘confidence’ of a person is not only about posture, looks, and dress.  dressed, and the way he behavior, it is something more. In fact, a lot more. Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis how you remain cools at the time.


I realized that the confidence of a person is not only about posture, looks, dress and behavior, but it is something more. In fact, a lot more! Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis. How you remain cool at the time of crisis shows how confident you are.