Smart Skills

Education is necessary, but skill is essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills I think are most important for living life happily and successfully.  I am talking about two skills in particular - skill with oneself, and skill with people.

 A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father's attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors - all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above - skill with oneself, and skill with other people.

So what should be done? Whatever best steps can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills. The education system as it is today can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the competitive life of today.  But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided a parent/parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child. The significance of Internet must be realized. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet you tube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure, the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they must and should not be distracted.

Developing skill with yourself, to me means listening and talking to your oneself. It means to understand your heart, identify what you really like and to concentrate your energies towards these.

Developing skill with people means to understand simple human psychology. You interaction with them should never ignore the following basic principles;

I)  That each one is interested in more in himself/herself than you.
II) That I, me, mine puts people off.
III) That making people talk makes them feel important.
IV)That when you win an argument you lose a friend so never argue.
V) That listening attentively to others will make them feel important. They like you most when you to that.
VI) That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/service. This will help create confidence in the minds of people about you.

More on this in my next Post. Thanks for reading.

Interpersonal Relations

Our interpersonal relations with others depend upon various factors. Two most important factors are one - our behavior towards the concerned persons, and two and how we speak to the concerned persons.

The contents of what we convey to our peers and friends will primarily depend upon our behavior. If our conduct to certain persons has been consistently good. It shows our regard towards them. But how we speak to them, is equally important if not more. The efficacy of our speech can be improved by making our speech articulate. Besides, we also need to become good listeners. People want that when they speak, total attention of the listener/listeners should be focused on their speech. Their ego is hurt if they find listeners inattentive.

For more details:
Nimble Foundation

Five Best Practices for Interpersonal Skills

In a way our life depends on our interpersonal skills. If we are good at it, people help us. At home to we have peaceful life. However, if we are lacking in this highly desirable skill we are the losers both at home and at our work place.

The first of the five ‘Best Practices’ may be termed as – At Never React. What does it mean? it means never react to a person nor to any situation, However gloomy or happy. It also mean that even if a person has said something which he/she should not have said; you just do not react and try to give back to him. But it does not mean that you keep quite and except these doing nothing. In fact you should use your mind and carry out those actions which your mind will certainly guide you. But it will guide you only if you remain cool. When you act, you use your mind. But if you react you loose your mind.

‘Best Practice’ No Two- Listen twice as much as you talk. We have two ears to listen but only one voice box which enable us to speak. Therefore, we should always listen more and speak less. Besides, people feel happy if you make them speak. But you must listen. This is observed by the speakers from your body language which you can not fake.

‘Best Practice’ No Three- Never try to appease. You must realize that it is not possible to please to every one at all the time. You should play your role at home, at your work place or even in society just as your mind guides you. Listen to your heart and you will never try to appease any one. When you go out of your way to please you are not a gainer. In fact you are a looser in the long run.

‘Best Practice’ No Four- Don’t ever be judgemental. Each person is an individual an has his/her space. Passing judgement comprises intrusion on personal spaces which is best avoided. Further more you should not gave any unsolicited advice. You may offer your opinion during discussion with out any effort to impose.

‘Best Practice’ No Five- Maintain cordiality in the ‘tone’ of your voice. Often times, how you say something assumes greater importance then what you say. Normally, we do not use offensive language, but the tone of our voice sometimes offends the listeners. Tone in the voice represents your emotions. These must always be controls per requirement of the situation.

Following above practices will ensure that you are able to maintain good relations with everyone.