Judgemental

I had attended a few lectures of a manager turned ‘swami’. Some treated him as a management consultant others as ‘guru ji’. He enjoyed both his titles. In his lectures, he would emphasis that one should not get involved any an action. He/she should remain as a witness. 

‘How can you remain a witness when you are performing the action? What about ‘focus’? How can you improve performance without being focused? These are some of the questions that kept coming to my mind ever since I attended these lectures. His reason that in case you get involved you tend to become judgmental. But it did not really appealed to me ever.

Recently on one of the T.V. channel ‘English Vinglish’ was telecasted. The central character Sridevi secretly starts learning English when she had gone to U.S. to attend wedding of her neice. She gives a big surprise to her family members including her husband by delivering a speech in English at the wedding reception. At first hesitatingly but later on with a reasonable confidence. The lasting message of her speech was don’t ever be ‘judgmental’ Earlier; she was slighted due to the lack of ability to speak English. Whenever she had shown desire to learn, her husband had mocked it away. But by learning English during a visit secretly and making an extremely intelligent speech she had proved everyone wrong.

I remembered the swami. His message ‘one should not be judgmental’ was now clear, after watching the movie. But remaining a witness and not getting involved is still a question,  unanswered.

“I don’t understand my child. He doesn’t listen to me”

An exasperated parent a lady in her early 40s went to a psychiatrist with a serious complaint about his only child.

‘Doctor, I am extremely upset about my son. I have exhausted all my options, I don’t understand him. He doesn’t listen to me.”

Doctor calmly said, “Say that again please” lady said, I said, I don’t understand my child. He doesn’t listen to me’

Doctor respected, “say that again”.

The lady raising her pitch of the voice said, “How many time you want me to repeat. I said I don’t understand my child. He doesn’t listen to me at all”

Doctor repeated the lady’s words you don’t understand your child. He doesn’t listen to you. Is that your problem madam?

‘Of course yes’ said the lady doctor omitted and said, well if you want to understand your child you must listen to him. Not by shouting at him.

How many times we are in similar situations. We blame others without listening to them.

C.P.U.

Computers must have their own CPUs. The ability to process commands faster depends on the power of the C.P.U. Or the central processing unit windows remain as of now the most used system by ‘Commoners’ geeks, I am told, have better options. As the capacity/ power C.P.U. is increasing in a rapid pace, so is the desire for the makers of ‘programming systems’ to add addition features. These make the system heavy, and may cause the CPU fatigue.

Every individual too, is equipped with a C.P.U. We can add more features to this unique C.P.U. by adding knowledge, and using it. What I call ‘application of mind’. The more you use the more powerful this C.P.U. becomes Instead of becoming heavier, the additional features or the abilities make the system lighter and decisions are made faster.

Equilibrium

As a child I had learnt while studying science the importance of ‘equilibrium’. I do not clearly remember its definition. It meant to me the natural ability for a thing to stand up on its own – to maintain its stability. It was taught that if the centre of gravity is closer to the ground, it increases the stability of anything in adverse circumstances. Like extreme push or pull, a jump or a fall etc.

Today, I find that equilibrium is equally important for human beings. What is means to me is the ability to retain our feet on the ground. Extreme emotions may tend to shake the feet but adequate control of the mind helps us develop the ability to remain on the ground.

Habits Die Hard

Habits die hard is commonly known. But forming new habits is equally hard. In the fast changing world that we are in today, we need ‘change’ more than anything else. Change in attitude and change in habits need to be priorities. Someone told me that if you do something at the same time daily, it becomes your habit. I have motivated some of my students, but the results are far from satisfactory. To form a new habit or to ward of the old one needs the following:

                                i.            Develop a strong desire to bring in the change.

                              ii.            Set a valid reminder system.

                            iii.            Define the milestones and the timeline.